Hello Brothers and Sisters on and above Aren! I am pleased to be making landfall with the one and only TAS. We are pursuing no particular mission at this time and would be happy to join any ongoing humanitarian efforts. Please let me know if you are aware of any ongoing humanitarian efforts! The resources and expertise of the TAS are legend, but I have noticed a tendency to become distracted in the absence of specific, concrete goals. There are a lot of strong personalities in play and these people seem to collect grievances like they’re passport stamps and it would be in everyone’s best interest if you could direct us toward some ongoing humanitarian efforts! Thank you!
Also: How is the situation with the Zeds? We’ve been made to understand that Arenese farmers have developed a germium-rich starch that satisfies their appetites. I assume they have universally seized this opportunity to stop devouring human flesh. I applaud these new, humanitarian Zeds! Has anyone tried ministering to them yet?
Update: Have heard that another organization is operating under the TAS banner. Has anyone met these people?
Urgent update: An acquaintance was attacked by a group of Zeds in a public bathroom. Is that normal? This was in the port.
Urgent update: My earlier assumptions about Zed diet/socialization may have been hasty. Does it seem like a good idea to let them live in a massive, underground tunnel bordering a moon-sized reserve of raw germium? That doesn’t seem to be in the spirit of the treaty. Can someone explain what’s going on here?
VERY URGENT UPDATE: Is it ethical to eat cloned human flesh?
VERY URGENT UPDATE: Still waiting to hear about that flesh.
VERY URGENT UPDATE: In this context, the cloned flesh would be an alternative to run-of-the-mill, off-the-bone human flesh. Please respond—time is a factor.
Update: Never mind. Momentum has built behind the cloned flesh initiative. Nothing in the universe could stop these maniacs now.